Making a list, checking it twice...

One of the tried and true techniques for character refinement that I have witnessed (my wife is a master of this, and is awe inspiring. THANK YOU HASHEM!) is the practice of forming and assigning oneself a set schedule, in writing. The keeping of a self imposed schedule has many practical advantages, both material and spiritual.

In Chovat HaTalmidim, Reb Kalonymos Kalman outlines it clearly:

It is beneficial to write out a schedule for yourself on a sheet of paper, starting with the time you wish to get up in the morning and continuing with all your activities. Use the sheet as a reference, checking back during the day to see if you have accomplished what you set out to do. (Chapter 5)

While the rebbe's target audience for the sefer was yeshiva age students, and thus he mentions this in the context of learning sessions and finding spare time for extra sedarim, the rebbe clearly saw the value in this technique for people in all walks of life:

Whether you are in yeshiva or not, the schedule of study that you set for yourself should be followed to the minute. You should get to the point that if for some reason you are not able to complete a period of learning, you should feel pained, as if the day itself remained uncompleted....

Each day, make it a practice to check yesterday's schedule. What you did not complete yesterday, you should attempt to complete today. you should only do this, however, if you were unable to to finish because of laziness or lack of diligence. If you were thrown off schedule because of a difficult passage...then you should not force yourself to complete [what] you missed yesterday.

The whole idea of keeping to a quantitative schedule is to discipline yourself to learn crisply and without meandering. (ibid.)

While it is clear that the rebbe's focus was on Torah learning, his advice can be applied to the totality of the day. The carefully mapped out day will more often than not yield far better results in accomplishment than the haphazard approach to our busy lives. Moreover, it introduces the concept of discipline into our everyday operations, which generates consistency, an important ingredient to a Torah true lifestyle.

There are varying degrees to the stricture of your structure;  some people may prefer an outline as opposed to a minute-to-minute checklist. As with everything, it has to be done with a keen sense of self awareness and intellectual honesty.

This eitza also lends itself finely to the idea of cheshbon haNefesh: at the end of the day, one can refer back to his schedule and see how he did. as he starts to sort through the day's events, determining what held him back here, why he dragged his feet at that point, etc., that will aid him in recalling the particularities of the day, and his interactions with people. This segues perfectly into a real, honest soul-searching...

Holy Extremism

כשם שהפשטות והאמת הם שמות נרדפות, כן הקיצוניות והגדלות הם שמות נרדפות .הקיצוניות היא ההשתלמות של הנושא. הדוגל בהבינוניות ומואס בקיצוניות חלקו עם הזיפנים או עם חדלי תבונה

The words above are a quote from the letters of the Chazon Ish. His claim is that to be great one must be an extremist. Anything less is assuring oneself of mediocrity at best and renders such a person ..... well I'd rather not translate.

What does he mean?

Example: The Olympics. To be an Olympic athlete one must train obsessively for years. No social life, no other serious interests. One thing. TRAINING. That means getting up at three am and running 10 miles, then lifting weights followed by a healthy breakfast with lots of nutrition and less taste. No doughnuts. Why? To excel!!

In ruchniyus a person must have the same intensive focus on excellence in order to become truly great. It means sleeping less than he might want to, not eating foods he enjoys, not going places he would like to visit and denying himself what his natural instincts dictate that he desire. This single minded focus on spiritual perfection produces a tzaddik. Always careful to say the right words, act the right way and even control his thoughts ensuring that only purity and holiness enter his personal domain.

Does extremism mean throwing rocks on passing cars on Shabbos or calling anyone you disagree with a heretic? OF COURSE NOT.

Spiritual Extremism means; extremely sensitive, extremely loving, extremely caring, extremely honest, extremely generous.

I bless myself and anyone else who so desires that we become holy extremists!:)

"These and These Are The Words Of The Living G-d"?

I saw the article linked by Reb Shmuel on his blog and was actually quite disturbed.

Firstly, I want to say that I am in favor of Ahavas Yisroel. I am no smarter that the Ribbono Shel Olam who said "Vi'ahavta Li'rayacha Kamocha". And no smarter than Rebbe Akiva who said that loving your friend is the "Klal Gadol" of the Torah. It is such an important rule that it is "kolel" [encompasses] the entire Torah.

Also I have nothing against the honorable Rabbi who wrote the article who is undoubtedly a MUCH better human being than I am. A better human being and most likely a better teacher, a better Jew and contributing much more to the future of our people than I.

BUT [a big "but"] I think that the educational approach he espouses is POTENTIALLY dangerous. I don't think that all the views of all branches of Orthodox Judaism are the "Words Of The Living G-d" [Divrei Elokim Chayim]. Almost nobody thinks so. Take for example the Rebbe of the writer of the aforementioned article. He often writes that the Charedim are making FUNDAMENTAL errors in their Yiddishkeit. The Chazon Ish was WRONG when he didn't support the Medinah and didn't say Hallel and Shehecheyanu on Yom Ha'atzmaut. Breslovers are off, Briskers are off, Lubavitchers are off. The only true way of Hashem is the path explicated by Rav Kook [as he understands it]. This is what he writes all the time.

Is he correct? He is right in believing passionately in a certain approach and trying to spread his views which he thinks reflect dvar Hashem but one could definitely argue that HE is mistaken and dvar Hashem should be understood otherwise [I certainly don't subscribe to many of his opinions].

Are Vayoel Moshe and Eim Habonim Smeicha both accurate reflections of Dvar Hashem? I think not. [If you haven't learned these books I recommend that you do.]

There is the story of the student who once suggested an interpretation of a pasuk to Nechama Leibowitz which she summarily rejected. The student said "Shivim Panim La'torah!" She answered "Yes, but yours is the seventy first."

When we teach our students we have to make it clear that not everything everybody believes is valid. We must not fudge some very basic issues of hashkafa on which we differ. Some people believe college is lichtchila, others believe that it is assur mi'dioraisa. How can somebody who believes the latter teach the former and someone who believes the former teach the latter?!

A well known Rabbi spoke at my sheva brachos and [he didn't know me or my wife] so he spoke about how his students are frum but they go to theatre and the movies [not an exact quote but that was the message] and that's GREAT. Some might argue [like the chassan at that simcha] that the immodesty shown on the movie screen renders such entertainment as nothing less than a transgression of "Vilo sassuru acharei livavchem viacharei eineichem", a contamination of a pure neshama and [at the very least] a waste of life's most valuable resource - time.

Was the chassan right or was the Rabbi right? You decide. But everybody would agree that they weren't both right. When educating children one has to have a clear-cut hashkafa and try to convey it to his students. This liberal "everybody is right" will produce moral relativists who lack passion for anything because whatever you do is fine. Ultimately this will result in people justifying all behaviors because "this is the way I see it". I am not making this up. I have seen it too many times.

A Rabbi got up at my son's bar-mitzva and gave a speech which disturbed me greatly. Do I love him? He is a beautiful man! I think he has more merits that I will ever have and "yehei chelki imo". But he was pushing an agenda he received from his Rebbe which I think is a subtle perversion of the Torah.

What is crucial to point out is that at all times we respect those with whom we disagree. Respect, love [heck, kiss the guy if he doesn't mind:)] treat with dignity, care, daven for and with etc. etc. But love doesn't mean that I condone his way of life or viewpoints.

I also believe that there are many valid paths in Judaism and don't think for a second that everybody has to be what I am [weird?] and this should also be made clear to the students. The Lubavitcher Rebbe once sent a boy to a Litvishe Yeshiva because he thought that was right for him. Rav Shach sent a boy I know to a Hesder Yeshiva because that was right for him. People have different spiritual needs and this should be realized by educators.

The Satmar Rebbe said that the sea split into 12 sections to teach us that every tribe literally has a different derech in Avodas Hashem.

May we all find our personal path to shleimus.

LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL!!:)


PS - Again I want to make clear that this piece was an attack against nobody! I just think that it is important that truth not be misrepresented. The Gemara teaches that truth is nothing less than the signature of G-d. I hope my tone was respectful. If I offended anybody I sincerely ask for forgiveness.

Let it move you...!

Beruriah [the daughter of Reb Meir] happened upon a scholar who was studying silently. She gave him a kick, and said to him: "It is written 'established for all time and secure' (Shmuel II 23:5) - if it is 'established' in your 248 limbs, it [the Torah you learn] will be secure, but if it is not established, it will not be secure!" (Bavli, Eruvin 53b-54a)

The above passage teaches us the necessity of learning Torah out loud, even when learning alone. Part of the idea is as Beruriah expressed it: only by involving our entire body in the process of learning - with movements, vocal expression, and the like - can we truly hope to acquire our Torah in the proper manner.

Similarly, there is a story with the author of the Noda B'Yehuda, Reb Yechezkel Landau that illustrates this point. While serving as Dayan in Brody, there was a group of secularists who sought to discredit him. One of their ploys was to recruit a gentile boy and tutor him in Torah until he was beyond fluent, not only in the Torah, but the  nuance, inflection, and colloquialisms of the Yeshiva community.

In other words,a flawless forgery.

Bringing this boy to the Dayan, he was tested for hours on a broad range of subjects in Torah. Halacha, Aggadah, Hashkafah, this boy knew it all and held his own.

Eventually, the Noda B'Yehuda dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "This is all meaningless. He is not Jewish."

He said it with such conviction that his detractors realized that their facade had failed. "Rabbi - how did you know?" they asked him.

Rav Landau turned to them and said "It's certainly possible for someone to have such a level of mastery in Torah. But one thing: the entire time, the boy sat there like a statue, rattling off halachas and sugyas, but not moving even once. A Jew who learns Torah cannot help but move; he'll sway and shuckle, because the vibrancy of Torah is coursing through his veins. A Jew must move when he is learning Torah!"

Concern For All

After reading the personal recollection about Rav Dovid Lifshitz written recently by Rav Micha, I was reminded of what happened one day about 25 years ago. My brother, who was in MTA at the time, came home one day and related that he was on his way out of the building on a cold day. Suddenly Rav Dovid [who didn't know my brother] called out to him softly "It is cold outside. Do you have a coat?"

Not only did Rav Shimon pass on his learning to his students but he also passed on his sterling qualities. THAT is true chinuch.

Education

When I was in High School we had to learn the etymology of words. I found this as interesting as the knowledge of what color socks the President of Zimbabwe wears. But as I grow older I see how much can be learned from the etymology of words.

Take "education" for example. The word comes from educare. In Roman culture the verb educare was constructed meaning “to bring up, rear, train, raise, support, etc." Education is NOT the conveying of information. It is so much more. So too the word chinuch. See what the Rebbe says at the beginning of Chovas Hatalmidim.

Many teachers think that their job is to make sure that the students master the material.

Mistake.

Be pleasant!

Rav Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler, author of the numerous essays and articles that comprise the Michtav M'Eliyahu, would often be called upon by tzedakkah collectors in his home in Bnei Brak. In those days, there was a certain scarcity that we could never relate to, and the Ponovezh Yeshiva had trouble making payroll on many occasions; it goes without saying that there were instances where Rav Dessler simply didn't have anything to give this poor man.

Nonetheless, Rav Dessler would invite him into his home, and sit with the man for a nice amount of time, engaging in pleasant conversation. He would ask the man about his background - where was he from? who lived there? did so-and-so live in that little town? After establishing a commonality with the man and making him feel good about the fact that such an esteemed personality such as Rav Dessler recognized his little town and knew people there, Rav Dessler would sit for a little while longer, making this man feel like an actual human being rather than a faceless meshulach going door to door, collecting alms without garnering any real attention to himself.

Very often, that man would leave Rav Dessler's home feeling better than he would if he had received a hefty donation.

If a Torah giant could spare time from his busy schedule to give a little recognition to a stranger, to offer some validation to a person many of us wouldn't give a moment's thought to - how much more so when it comes to us and the people that we deal with on a regular basis...

Engaging in pleasant conversation is not a formality - it is an essential tool to establishing positive relations with others.