A pre Tisha b'Av post I wrote over at Tikkun! brought to mind an important element of daily prayer that can be used to enhance the potency of one's prayers:

The Kav HaYashar writes at the end of Chapter 3 that one should take pains to ensure that he sits in a specific spot in shul on a consistent basis, and that he sit next to someone who does not engage in frivolous talk during the prayers. Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein explained that one of the ideas behind a makom kavua is like the parable from the other post: when we pray at a specific place, our prayers rise up to the Gates of Prayer up above and try to enter in the same spot. The constant, repetitious barrage of daily prayers aimed at the same spot effectively "weaken" that area, which may be otherwise impenetrable.

Moreover, sitting next to someone who doesn't waste his time in shul is mutually beneficial; together you can form a unified front, and give encouragement via reinforcement by your conscious efforts to maximize your prayers.

One-Minute Hitbodedut

Hisbodedus is a wonderful way of nurturing one's relationship with HaShem. While hisbodedus is probably most famously associated with Rebbe Nachman and is a major pillar of Breslov avodah (see Hishtapchut HaNefesh), hisbodedus has been around in one form or another going back at least to the Avos. Other famous non-chassidic practitioners were Reb Yisrael Salanter, the Chofetz Chaim, and more recently, Reb Shimshon Pincus.

Hisbodedus according to the Breslov method involves (ideally) secluding oneself for an hour every day, and speaking to God "as one would speak to a friend".

While doing hisbodedus for a whole hour seems daunting even to some seasoned practitioners, beginners are encouraged to begin with baby steps. Rabbi Ozer Bergman, a teacher and writer associated with the Breslov Research Institute gives a step-by-step suggestion on how to begin practicing hisbodedus in earnest, in his work Where Earth and Heaven Kiss: A Guide to Rebbe Nachman's Path of Meditation:

Set a time during the day when you know you will be alone and fully available for just one minute.

• Stop what you're doing

• Take a deep breath.

• Thank God for any two things in life - one current, the other current or past.

• Ask God for two material things - one related to today, one related to the future.

• Ask God for two spiritual things - one related to today, one related to the future.

• Ask God to help the Jewish people in two ways.

• Either:

• (a) Ask God to talk again tomorrow and say, "Thank You," or

• (b) Keep talking. When you finish, go to (a) 

Reb Shmuel Strashun, author of the Hagahot RaSHaSH (a supercommentary on the Talmud Bavli) was known as a genius par excellence. Once, he was grappling with a difficult passage in the gemara when he met up with Reb Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin (Rosh Yeshiva [dean] of the famed yeshiva in Volozhin, author of Ha'amek Davar and Ha'amek Sheila), to whom he posed his difficulty.

Immediately, the Netziv (as Rav Berlin was known; not only was it an acronym of his name, it also means "prince" in Hebrew) answered Reb Shmuel's question. His answer was so brilliant and true, Reb Shmuel was astonished by the Netziv's erudition; not only was the answer so obvious, the Netziv had even supplied the answer in Reb Shmuel's own stylistic approach! When he expressed his amazement, and queried as to how the Netziv had attained such a level of understanding, Rav Naftali Tzvi Yehuda looked him in the eyes and responded:

"Because while you studied in wealth, I studied in poverty!"

The RaShaSh was a renowned genius who displayed an uncanny mind even at a young age. He effortlessly mastered whole tractates of Talmud and volumes of Torah literature, and continued to progress through his adolescence.

The Netziv had far humbler beginnings. By his own admission, he was a mediocre student as a child, and only after nearly squandering his yeshiva career did he settle down and dedicate himself to the task of learning Torah. He sequestered himself in a room for thirteen years, toiling with great effort, spending weeks on a single folio of gemara until he knew everything in it.

The "wealth" and "poverty" that he referred to wasn't in monetary terms; it was in innate talent versus diligence and hard work.

There is much value in genius, and those who possess great cognitive abilities (and utilize them properly) deserve our respect.

But nothing - nothing - can beat hard work.

Adam l'ameil yulad - Man was born to toil, and this holds true for every aspect in life, especially when it comes to spiritual matters. Contrary to what the hagiographic biographies would have you believe, many of our gedolim were not wunderkind - they strove, and persevered, and sacrificed a lot to get to the level they ultimately reached.

And if they could do it...

אם תעירו ואם תעוררו את האהבה עד שתחפץ (שיר השירים ב:ז

 The RaMBaN (in HaEmunah v'haBitachon 19, which can be found in the Kisvei RaMBaN [thank you Reb Ally!!!]) has a wonderful interpretation of this thrice-repeated verse in Song of Songs:

When you feel an awakening of sorts, a stirring of the soul, a thought or desire to do a good deed - don't let it get away! The verse says "...ad shetechpatz" - that is, until you have taken that his'orrerus and placed it in something tangible (a chefetz in Hebrew), enclothed it in a physical deed, you run the risk of losing that feeling. The only way to capture that fleeting sense of "goodwill" is to turn it into something real.

For example, Rav Moshe Weinberger relates that when he feels an urge to do teshuva, he begins humming the liturgy from the High Holy Days in order to retain that feeling.

As a tool for shmirat einayim, I find myself quoting the verse "...and do not stray after your hearts and after your eyes" loudly with the cantillation notes (this also earns me a lot of stares, which ultimately adds to the dissuasive effect as well).

Memorizing a chapter of Tehillim can be useful for this idea, or carrying a little sefer to learn something quickly when the feeling arises...

For more on this topic, see Ohr Gedalyahu on Lech L'Cha; Hachsharas Avreichim (page 109); and Imrei Elimelech.

Do Battle With Strategies.

In honor of Rav Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler's yahrtzeit (earlier today, the 25th of Teves):

Rav Dessler was a non-stop smoker for quite some time while serving as the mashgiach in the yeshiva in Gateshead. Once, the bachurim noticed a sign on the door to Rav Dessler's office with an announcement that the mashgiach had officially quit smoking. Mystified, one of the faculty members approached Rav Dessler and questioned him about the sign. After all, the mashgiach wasn't known for being ostentatious, so why the proclamation.

Rav Dessler turned to his colleague and replied (paraphrasing):

I know that it isn't healthy to smoke, and I really want to quit. However, I know that the urge - the taivah - for a cigarette may be too strong to resist, and I will never really quit. By putting up that sign, I'm performing a little test, to see which is stronger - my taivah for a cigarette or my taivah of pride? If people read that sign and then see me smoking again, they might think less of me for not being able to commit to something so trivial; I am confident that my ego won't allow for that...

 Obviously it takes a special Gadol, one whose self-awareness is intact to such an extent to make such an evaluation, but the ingenuity of Rav Dessler's strategy is amazing. Utilizing one middah against another middah can be a powerfully effective way to fix negative traits and stop unhealthy behavior.

Belief in "Self Empowerment"

Pearls of wisdom from the Chovat HaTalmidim:

Just as it is impossible to accomplish anything without will, or to practice a discipline on a constant basis without decisiveness, it is equally impossible to ascend spiritually without having faith in oneself and in the power of one's devotions.

That is to say, we have already established the fact that doing good deeds is not sufficient in and of itself; a person must himself become good. He must take his character traits and transform them to goodness; just as Israel as a whole is engaged in a process of ascent and of growth, so must he be. But it is very difficult for a person who is in a lowly state, who feels that his personality is composed of degraded traits and that even his essence is ignoble to believe that his character will be transformed and made virtuous, and that he himself will experience spiritual ascents.

Because of this, he will be halfhearted and will not make a real effort. He will perform good deeds, but that is all. He will not try to strengthen himself in order to transform his being itself into good.

And yet, have we not said over and over again that you do not know yourself, that all you see is the outer covering - what is inside is concealed from you as well? Why doubt your own ability, thus destroying your own great future, when you do not really see and cannot really know?

Desire, decide, and believe in the power of Israel that is within you and within your devotions. Then you will see whether or not you will become holy as others have, and whether or not you too will shine like a bright star...*

There are so many valuable things to take away from this small excerpt.

First of all, the Rebbe is teaching us an important concept of avodah: there are many levels to serving God, but if one wants to truly grow, he has to internalize his dealings on a "molecular" level. When performing a mitzvah, one has to do it with the intent and the desire that it should have an impression on the very fiber of his being, refining him, altering his spiritual construction; it doesn't happen without a cognizant effort.

But most important, Reb Kalonymos Kalman once again begs us to focus on our innate qualities. This element of faith in oneself does not stem from hubris but rather from knowledge of a special power vested within us by HaShem; as a member of Knesset Yisrael we have to ability to tap into the deepest reservoirs, the richest potential that manifests itself in each Jew through his or her unique expression. It is rooted so deep that we cannot even see it without consciously focusing on that power, and striving to coax it out.

* translation adapted from A Student's Obligation by Rabbi Micha Odenheimer

The Sudilkover Eitza

I found this on A Simple Jew's blog. It's worth taking the time out to read, and furthers my previous post about the value of making lists. Enjoy it - I did.

The day after our three hour conversation, I called the Sudilkover Rebbe as directed to hear his specific advice for me.

The Rebbe prefaced his advice by saying that his advice was not his advice. It came directly from Rebbe Nachman of Breslov's instruction to seek out one's good points in Likutey Moharan "Reish Peh Beis". The implementation plan that he prescribed to me, however, was his own. He told me that he wanted me to start this 40 day plan that very day and guaranteed that I would start seeing a real benefit from it within four to five days. He further stated that it was a wonderful way to develop my emuna and remarked, "I guarantee you will see miracles through doing this."

First, he told me to review Likutey Moharan #282 (Azamra) and to listen to the corresponding audio shiurim from Rabbi Nasan Maimon in order to obtain a fuller understanding of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov's teaching (I also listened to Rabbi Lazer Brody's CD as well). The Rebbe then advised me to get a notebook and draw lines down the pages and divide them into three columns. In the first column, I was to record things that I did good that day; to include even small things like washing negel vasser in the morning upon arising. In the second column, I was to record the challenges and nisyonos that I experienced that day. This was to include things such as occurrences when I failed to maintain my composure and expressed my anger. Finally, in the third column I was to record examples of Hashem's chasadim (kindnesses) that I observed that day.

The Rebbe instructed to read what I had written down out loud before I said Krias Shema al HaMita each night. After doing this for forty days I would have a clearer picture of how I should proceed. He even mentioned that he too kept such a note book from time to time and said it might be something I may find that I will want to continue past the 40 day period.

Following my hour-long conversation with the Rebbe, I went right out and bought a notebook so I could begin that day.

My yetzer hara immediately started its barrage of arguments.

"How is writing down these things in a notebook really going to help you? And you will see results in four to five days??!!"

I knew better than to listen to my yetzer hara.

My mind then recalled that the Rebbe's advice also fit into another shtickel of Degel Machaneh Ephraim that we learned together. In the Likkutim section at the end of this sefer, the Degel wrote that one time his grandfather, the Baal Shem Tov, told him that if he would say the tefillos "Keil Rachum Shemecha" and "Aneinu" as he did, that he could quite literally be able to bring Moshiach.

The Sudilkover Rebbe explained that these prayers from Selichos are located at the end of the Selichos service and are very often rushed through in an attempt to finish. The Rebbe explained that the Baal Shem Tov was teaching his grandson that one should not treat these tefillos in such a haphazard manner but rather should understand that these tefillos represented the pinnacle of the Selichos davening; that the little things that we do have the potential to accomplishment unbelievable things if only we would believe in ourselves.

Little things like walking me to our meeting were not little in the Sudilkover Rebbe's eyes. When Chabakuk Elisha came to pick me up, the Rebbe thanked him. In his modesty, Chabakuk Elisha tried to brush it aside, but the Rebbe persisted to tell him what a great thing he had done and how much nachas he had brought him by escorting me. He stressed to Chabakuk Elisha that this was not just a little thing which lacked significance. Quite the contrary.

By identifying confidence/good points as the area where I needed improvement, the Rebbe had also zeroed in on advice that I received from co-workers in a recent 360-degree assessment. While noting that I was strongest in my ability to see other viewpoints and opinions, my co-workers noted that I was not forceful or confident enough. This was not news to me. For some people arrogance is something that they have to continually work on, however, it is definitely not so in my case. My father constantly ingrained the trait of humility into me from any early age with perhaps too much zeal and not enough confidence building. If anything, I now swing too far in the opposite direction and can be too self-effacing at times.

In order to return me to a proper equilibrium to follow the middle path, the Sudilkover Rebbe's plan was a pendulum swing in the opposite direction of self-effacement. It was exactly what I needed. Amazingly, as I followed the Rebbe's instructions, I started seeing results immediately. Each night my list of good points and the list of chasadim grew longer and longer and my list of challenges/nisyonos grew shorter and shorter. The process of having to be conscious each day to write something down made me stop and think at intervals throughout the day. What am I doing good today? What am I not doing good today? What are some examples of Hashem's kindness that I am aware of at this very minute?

Twenty days after I began keeping the notebook, I noticed that what I wrote in my good points column was three or four times longer than my entry from the first day. I began to become so aware of more and more good points each day that I needed to bring my notebook along with me to work so I would not be forced to remember them all at the end of the day when I got home.

Searching out Hashem's daily chasadim, I came to have an new awareness and renewed appreciation for numerous things such as my sight, hearing, smell, taste, and digestive system. I spoke to the Sudilkover Rebbe again about my observations, and he told me that as the days go on, that I would not just be able to note a few things, but I would be able to identify literally hundreds of acts of Hashem's kindness each day.

It was not long afterwards that I was able to see kindness in circumstances that others might have labeled as tzoros. Whether it was leaky pipes, a return of mice in my house, or my oldest daughter falling down and scaping and bruising her face, the first thing I did was thank Hashem for these things; knowing that it was tremendous act of kindness since each of these events could have all been much worse. Later, I even added these events to the "chasadim" column of my notebook.

Aside from these "negative" types of chasadim, I also became even more aware of the traditional "positive" types of chasadim and soon attained the ability to stop what I was doing at any given time and name a handful of them at that very moment.

My last insight into the whole 40 day process came during the final 10 days. The Sudilkover Rebbe's advice benefitted me greatly in the area of my davening. It was only then that I was able to really tie together the notebook advice, the concept of finding one's good points, and my davening.

In Likutey Moharan #282, Rebbe Nachman taught,

"The prayer leader is called the shaliach tzibbur, the messenger of the people, and he must be sent by the all the people. His job is to find and gather all the good points in each of the worshippers."

I asked myself, "If am not the shliach tzibbur today, how can I still gather up all my good points?" I then recalled another of Rebbe Nachman's directives, "You can crease and wrinkle my book any way you like when it comes to your own interpretations – as long as you don't violate a single paragraph of the Shulchan Aruch."

A little creasing, wrinkling, and hisbodedus provided me an answer.

Remembering the connection Rebbe Nachman made between davening and the hands, I decided to modify the bed time ritual that I wrote about here. Before davening each Shachris, Mincha, and Maariv, I used my right hand and counted out five new examples of Hashem's chasadim, and then counted out five new examples of my good points using my left hand.

Reb Noson wrote in Likutey Halachos, Hilchos Haskamas Haboker 1,"Discovering one's good points is the foundation of prayer." Indeed, I found that the more I discovered more of my good points and employed this new strategy, the easier it was to daven and to shake of any lethargy that sometimes tried to convince me otherwise.

Although the 40 day period came to an end on the 12th of Teves, I have continued this practice before davening and I continually seek to find more and more good points in myself and in others. As Reb Noson said,

"Each person's life is unique, but this teaching is universal; it applies at all times in life, in youth and old age. The lesson of Azamra can revive us. Happy are those who take it to heart."

 

I just saw something in my good friend Reb Y.'s blog (which is criminally under-posted on) that struck me as a very powerful tool for use when faced with nisyonos (emphasis mine):

If a Jew is faced with the choice to worship avodah zarah or die, even if all his senses tell him to bow down, if logic dictates that he bow down. It is his inner emunah that screams, "How can you? How can you deny Hashem's existence for even a second? How can you not give up your life for Hashem?" This voice is louder and will defy any common sense.

The Tanya goes on and brings this into the everyday life of a Jew. When faced with an inclination to do something against the will of Hashem, remind yourself of this. You would be willing to die for Hashem's will. How big is your taivah to do wrong? Can it be bigger than dying? If you're willing to die for not being separated from Hashem for even a second, you should be able to overcome any desire you have and not go against His will.

Awesome. 

Two Questions - A Personal Note

Mevakesh Lev recently described Rav Shimon Shkop's entrance bechinah. If you didn't yet, read that post before continuing on to this one.

When I read this story it made me feel truly privileged to have experienced what it means to be part of this tradition. For two years I sat in the shi'ur of Rav Dovid Lifshitz ^zt”l, the Suvalker Rav, a student of Rav Shimon's. And Rav Dovid's notion of a test was similar to his rebbe's.

YU required written finals. I think Rav Dovid once told me that he wouldn't have given them otherwise. In any case, the morning of the final, rebbe would ask us two questions that echo Rav Shimon's "fahrher":

First, he would want to know who had eight hours of sleep the previous night.

Second, he would ask who had breakfast that morning.

Rav Dovid’s primary concern was for the welfare of his talmidim who were often overextended during final week. How can he worry about how we would test when he wasn’t yet sure we were fully equipped to succeed at our learning?

Those who didn’t get a full night’s sleep were sent back to bed. Those who skipped breakfast were given $5 (mid-1980s money) and sent to the cafeteria. (At least, those who addmitted to it. Few people would raise their hands the second time around, and I know for sure at least some of us were just avoiding taking rebbe's money...)

Similarly, the question Rav Dovid most frequently asked me when he was mesader qiddushin at my wedding, "Are you hungry? Fasting today is at best a minhag; simchas chasan is deOraisa!"

There is an old saying,

יענעמס גשמיות איז בא מיר רוחניות.

Another’s physical needs/wants are for me, spiritual.

---

To Rav Shimon and Rav Dovid, a talmid's gashmius was truly their ruchnius.

But I realized there is another layer to this attitude, one that makes it one of the fundamentals of Yahadus:

Why is there a gashmius to begin with?

Because the Creator wanted to provide us with a venue where we can interact with other people. Where things aren't perfect, and we must step in and take partnership with Him in completing their creation. A place where we can be givers, not just recipients.

In other words, the sole reason for this world is so that my ruach, my soul-as-will (ruach also means wind — the unseen power that moves the seen) can step in and provide for others their physical needs. This is why we were created such that sexual intimacy is of the greatest bonding forces. A the Torah says “Therefore man will leave his father and mother and bond with his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Bereishis 2:24) This is why we associate sharing a celebration with sharing a meal (such as the qorban Todah, for giving thanks, which was of a size too large for any one person or his immediate family to eat).

Another's gashmius is thus the reason for my soul being extended into this world. Beyond simply calling it a religious duty, it truly is my ruchnius.

The Loss Of Fear

About 16 years ago Rav Soloveitchik's son, known affectionately as "DR. Grach" wrote a famous article in Tradition which generated a great deal of discussion and argument. One of his many astute observations was that while today people are "frummer" than they once were [note the mass scale of Torah learning in yeshivos and kollelim, minyanim everywhere, ubiquitous payos, head covering for women, the popularity of mikva for women and men etc.], the palpable sense of FEAR of Hashem that people once had is all but lost.

It says in the Holy Books that one should cry during davening on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. I see very few tears if any during these Days of Awe. I think that people are just not afraid for their lives anymore. Things are COOL! Well, the reality is that things are NOT cool. People DO die [many many this past year, of all ages. The Angel Of Death doesn't discriminate]. So my own small blessings that we should merit to feel the awe during these Days of Awe. And if you are not afraid for your lives and well being - I am. So you can do me a favor and daven for Elchanan ben Henna Miriam and his family [keyn yirbu!] that we should make it through this coming year in good health. If you are interested you can send me your name and I will return the favor and daven for you.

The fear I am talking about is constructive. It is the impetus for a transformation of the self [known in our literature as "tshuva...].

Love and blessings and wishes for eternal good for all:)!

Yamim Nora'im Prep part III

Our third segment on different suggestions and approaches to the concept of forgiveness focuses on reaching an idealized perspective via-a-vis the people we come into contact with.

Whereas the earlier approaches we discussed involved either "forcing" ourselves into the recognition of  the necessity of mechila (and the gravity of half-hearted forgiveness) and techniques to calm our animus towards those who have wronged us, I'd like to focus for a moment on nuturing healthy relationships, which facilitates itself toward forgiving others with ease.

What is love? Where does it come from? How does it develop?

Rabbi E. E. Dessler makes a powerful observation concerning this very topic in his Kuntress HaChessed (Michtav M'Eliyahu Vol. 1). Contrary to popular belief, Rav Dessler asserts that love is not enhanced by giving - it is the giving that creates love. Rather than being in a loving relationship and therefore feeling compelled to act with kindness towards someone, bestowing them with gifts and favors, it is quite the opposite: the very act of giving, of providing for someone stirs within the giver strong feelings of attachment and closeness, and allows an true and honest relationship to flourish.

My suggestion is this: with friends and loved ones, strive to give them what they need, whether it's moral support, a handout, or a smile. When the relationship deepens through the mutual acts of giving, it will be that much easier to separate from our selfishness and see through to the truth. As for those whom you may not get along with? Try very hard to be pleasant to them, and help them any way you can. By constantly giving to them, you will be strengthening your relationship (obviously this has to be done with common sense and no attitude...), and hopefully they will see the effort you are exerting to make it work with them...

Yamim Nora'im Prep part II

Continuing our theme of forgiveness, we are going to explore different ways to reach a point in which we can actually provide someone with a sincere wholehearted mechila. In an earlier post, we provided a way to obligate ourselves to forgive someone, but how do we put that necessity into action? To have a bona fide mechila for anyone who is not really our friend - or someone who really wronged us - merely acknowledging that we are forgiving him won't help us actually come to a true mechila, which is the real goal.

The holy rebbe of Piaseczna gives us a daring piece of advice in his seminal work Chovat HaTalmidim. At the end of the ninth chapter, the rebbe addresses the issue of reconciling with an enemy with whom the mutual hate is so great that you simply cannot find any redeeming qualities in this person.

This is what you should do. Write him a letter. Don't send it to him; hide it somewhere in your home. In the letter, insult and shame him as much as the serpent of anger in your heart desires. For some days, read the letter aloud, and imagine that you are standing in front of him, taunting and abusing him with all the expressions of the letter. After some days, you will find your anger has dissipated, and if you are a sensitive person, you may discover yourself running to reconcile with him. *

More than an act of catharsis, the rebbe's advice shows a profound quality in our nature. After pouring out all the venomous feelings and thoughts about this person into this composition, we are encouraged to reread it every few days. Despite the fact that in the heat of the moment we were able to pen such hateful, hurtful words, a few days later those words will seem to be alien and foreign, and we would have a hard time believing that we actually wrote them.

With every subsequent reading, we'll comment "wow, I was being pretty harsh. He's not like that all the time..." and we will begin to see flaws in our hateful view of this person. Moreover, we will begin to find ways to counter the arguments made in the letter, and find redeeming qualities in this fellow as we revisit this letter. Eventually, the feelings of hate and anger will have been replaced by a powerful desire to reconcile with this person, and like the rebbe says, we will run to make peace with him.

This idea enables us to bring the conceptual understanding of mechila into a more concrete form, out of potential into action.

* English adapted from A Student's Obligation by Micha Odenheimer

Judgements

“Our judgments judge us, and nothing reveals us, exposes our weaknesses, more ingeniously than the attitude of pronouncing upon our fellows.”

Paul Valery


The way Chazal put it was "kol haposel bi'mumo posel". The revered mashgiach Rav Volbe ztz"l calls it a "panas kessem" - a magical flashlight. If you want to know about yourself, explore how you judge others. A person only sees the world through the prism of his own experiences. I often remind myself when being criticized [all too often...], that the words say more about the criticizer than they do about me. [This takes place after I feel hurt and get defensive.]

There are really two issues at hand [I have been learning a lot of Brisk recently so everything is two issues]. 1] How to criticize and 2] How to receive criticism.

1] In a word - with a lot of love, genuine care about the criticized and after verifying that the person feels good enough about himself that will allow him to accept the criticism in a healthy, productive way. Also, the criticism should [generally] be sugar-coated. As Rebbetzin Mary Poppins taught me in my impressionable youth: "Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." Well, more than a word.

2] One of the 48 ways of acquiring Torah is "Ohev es hatochachos" - Loving rebuke. Rebuke helps us grow. Amazing!!! BUT [ a big "but"], make sure not to blow it out of proportion. Yes, maybe you are not perfect but that doesn't mean you lack all redemptive traits. You are GOOD, you are WORTHY and your are loved by many - particularly the Master Of The Universe. You have a specific uniqueness and task shared by nobody on earth.

And like we said earlier, the person rebuking and criticizing has his own issues and his words are often a reflection of those issues.

Love and Blessings!!!:)

Increasing The Plentiful

In a previous post, both Reb Ally and Reb Micha weighed in on different kavanot (intentions) to have while making a bracha (blessing). Continuing in that theme, I'd like to share an idea I saw from Reb Chaim Volozhin (the foremost disciple of the Vilna Gaon, and a tzaddik in his own right), in his seminal work on Jewish thought Nefesh HaChaim.

In his introductory paragraphs to the section concerning the subject of Tefillah (prayer), Reb Chaim prefaces his remarks by examining the nature of blessings in general, their purpose, and their particular construction for the sake of fulfilling that purpose (emphases mine):

The word baruch does not mean "blessed" or "praised" (as an adjective), as most people think...

The true meaning of beracha is asking God to increase that which is being blessed as in "He will bless your bread and your water" (Ex. 23:25) and "He will bless the fruit of your womb" (Deut. 7:13)...These passages clearly denote increase; they certainly cannot be interpreted as expressions of praise and glorification.

But when we recite a beracha and "bless God", we are not speaking about God Himself. After all, God is perfect and lacks nothing; thus, "increasing" anything about Him is ridiculous.

The essence of God is completely beyond human comprehension. When we speak of God, we are referring to His attributes as they become apparent to us by the way He sustains and guides the world and His creations - with Justice, Kindness, or Mercy. That is why we describe Him as "Almighty Judge", "Merciful One", and "Compassionate One".

And so, the purpose of reciting a beracha is to increase our awareness of God in creation (first in our mind, and then in the minds and lives of as many people as we can reach). Therefore, when we bless God, we are really saying "Please increase Your presence in creation." (Sha'ar Beis, Chapter 2) *

Reb Chaim elaborates further on this concept and its implications throughout the section, but this integral idea jumped off the page at me. We aren't really telling God that He is praised so much as we are asking Him to strengthen the awareness of the Divine in the world. This passage caused a paradigmatic shift in my approach to berachot by teaching me to keep this thought in mind.

* English adapted from Rabbi Avrohom Yaakov Finkel's translation Nefesh Hachaim: Rav Chaim of Volozhin's classic exploration of the fundamentals of Jewish belief (the Judaic Press).

שיתברר ויתאמת

There are two ways of resolving points of doubt in learning.

1] Finding one strong, incontrovertible proof.

2] Finding numerous hints that might not explicitly resolve the doubt but certainly point one in the direction of truth.

The advantage of the former is that the proof is clear and cogent while the advantage of the latter is that the numerous hints one sees serve to drive the point home with more emphasis.

NOW, we can understand the famous beginning of the Messilas Yesharim, where it says that the obligation of every Jew is "she'yisbarrer vi'yisameis aitzel ha'odom mah chovaso ba'olamo" - to clarify and find the truth revealing your obligation in this world. Many of our spiritual titans have tried to understand the difference between "yisbarrer" and "yisameis". Yisbarrer is that it should become clear through one proof what your purpose in this world is. "Yisameis" is to find many hints in your life until this truth penetrates to the core of your soul.

[Based on Maran HaRav Hutner ztz"l]

People spend much time reading the sports pages and finding out what is going on in Washington - and in China, but are ignorant as to the purpose of their own existence. This requires much soul-searching and introspection.

But what's an Elul for?!

Tapping Into The Rich Emotional Reservoirs We All Have

In the previous post, Reb Ally writes about the inherent emotional capacity in everyone, and how it is only a matter of accessing those emotional wellsprings.

So how do we do it?

One exercise is to affect a certain emotional outpouring, even if it is not true or sincere; the display of emotion is a trigger that releases a larger authentic expression. For example, on Yom Kippur, we are encouraged during Ne'ila (the last part of the Yom Kippur service; we are taught that the gates of Heaven are beginning to swing shut, from the Hebrew word to close or lock) to bring ourselves to tears, by any means necessary- whether or not they are a true expression of feelings.

While tears are by nature a powerful spiritual tool - one that can be implemented despite the lack of any true feelings, and have such an effect to the degree that it can reverse even the most awesome of decrees - part of the idea behind our "forcing" ourselves to cry is the arousal that it will ultimately inspire.

More often than not, once we are crying about one thing - regardless of the source of "inspiration" - it is very easy for that episode of tears to increase and intensify to include other reasons (better reasons) to cry. M'toch sheLo Lishma, bah Lishma, as it were. That "insincere" flow of tears will inspire real tears to flow, and once we have achieved that outpouring of the soul - those tears can shatter the Heavens and break through the barriers. It is one reason why the Kav HaYashar repeatedly stresses the importance of prayer with tears; the tears wrap up even the most pathetic prayer and escorts it past the guards of the Heavenly gates directly to the Throne of Glory...

See The Wonder...

Want to strengthen your Emunah (belief in God)?

Rabbeinu Bachya Ibn Paquda prescribes a systematic way to increase one's recognition of the Divine in his daily life by examining and reflecting on the nature of things. The second "gate" in his Chovot HaLevavot (Duties of the Heart) is devoted entirely to illustrating how we can see the wisdom and kindness with which HaShem created the world and runs it perpetually.

Split into six sections, the Sha'ar HaBechina (the Gate of Reflection) explains:

• The nature of reflection 
• The obligation of reflection  
• How to reflect on Creation 
• The various different forms and manifestations of wisdom in the physical realm available to reflect upon 
• Which manifestations are most appropriate and accessible for us to examine, vis-a-vis our correspondent obligation to reflect on said manifestations; 
• What deters/enables reflection.

The fifth section shows how the most pertinent and effective source to examine is our own body; our physiology from conception until death, our intellectual and sensual faculties, the faculty of speech specifically, etc. Continuing on, we expand our scope to take in the wonders of the animal kingdom, and then the celestial properties - the stars, the moon, and so on. Physics, the laws of motion, the yield of an apple seed and the quenching nature of rainfall are but a few other examples that Rebbeinu Bachya focuses on extensively.

There is no shortage of apparent examples that can serve to increase our emunah and gratitude to God, if we would only take the time to really look at them and see the inherent divinity in all things.

I once heard a suggestion that that we should all attempt to learn something new about Creation every day, and really devote some time (even if only a few minutes) to reflect upon its significance. Making this a practice every day nurtures a sensitivity, an openness to the world around us.

I personally find that science books geared towards younger audiences are often great sources for such information; they are infused with a wide-eyed sense of awe and wonder this beautiful world that God has placed us in for the duration...

The Paradox Of The Perspective On Death

Recently I unfortunately have had a number of occasions to be involved in the sugya of "death". What is the Jewish approach?

I came across an excellent article in Hadarom [65, by Rav Betzalel Naor Shlita, great Talmid Chochom and father in law of my dear beloved friend Dori Binyamin Ben Yeruba'al Tzvi]: The Rambam says in the thirteenth perek of hilchos avel that one who mourns too much is a fool. Death is part of life [minhago shel olam]. Rather he should mourn as the halacha dictates and then get on with it. Then the Rambam turns around and says that if someone dies it behooves all those around him to search their deeds and do teshuva and if they don't they are cruel because a lack of introspection will just make more terrible things happen.

But wait! T.O. coach!! You just told me that it is minhago shel olam? Nothing out of the ordinary? So why the need to press the internal search button [computer mashal!:)]?

We are multi-dimensional people and we must also look at the world in multi-dimensional ways. We must realize that it is the nature of the world that people die and not allow ourselves to become overwhelmed. But we must ALSO understand that there is something tragic and earthshaking in the death of a human being and quickly do some teshuva so that it doesn't happen so frequently and that when it does, our neshamos will be ready. With enough teshuva, death indeed will one day be eradicated from the earth. [See the whole article.]

Rav Yisroel Salanter says that many people are under the impression that there is a chevre geshtorbenners [a society of people who die], but we are not members of this exclusive group.

Ahhhh sweetest tyere fryndlech, we are ALL members of this group. This means that we must live today as if it our last and remove ourselves from all the nonsense of this world and focus on what is real. As the Rebbe says in the B'nei Machshava Tova הרחק את עצמך מן הבטלה הרחק כמטחוי קשת
Stay miles away from wasting time. There are SOOOOO many good productive things to do.

Let's do them!

Love and blessings!:)

PS - a BIG yashar koach to Reb Shmulie on the "Machshava Tova" of starting this blog. It is nice when Jews have a chaburah whose express purpose is enhancing their Avodas Hashem. The Rebbe created such group in his lifetime and it is a great elevation for his soul that we continue. I have my own blog but I feel that the message is strengthened when we have the koach hatzibbur of the other distinguished members of the chaburah. Tzibbur is an acronym for tzaddikim, benoyniyim and reshoim. In the meantime all I see [besides myself] are tzaddikim....

Give Chizuk!

Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld OBM constantly reminded his students to always give each other an encouraging word. There needn't be anything specific in mind; just to wish someone success in any - and all - of his endeavors can have such a powerful effect. As he put it, "it opens up wellsprings!"
 Rav Freifeld would marvel at those students who would come to his yeshiva after experiencing one defeat after another, having their spirits crushed by unyielding faculty in other institutions. After a few weeks of firm but gentle encouragement from the fellow students and staff in Shor Yoshuv, they would begin to believe in themselves and start accomplishing beyond their wildest imaginations.

It's important to note that many times there isn't any malicious intent behind the discouragement, either. Often those people think that they are doing the person a favor by "grounding him in reality" and protecting him from his own "too-lofty" aspirations. What they are really doing is shaping the other person's world-view to expect failure and mediocrity.

While we all have to be aware of our capabilities - and limitations - we can still hope for the best and let others know that we believe in them, and want to see them succeed. By doing so, we open up the wellsprings of accomplishment that allow people to realize their potential.

I would suggest that we should all take it upon ourselves to encourage our friends, family and peers. It doesn't have to be overbearing or unnatural; just a sincere wish to see them thrive and do well. The chances are high that we'll make someone's day.