A pre Tisha b'Av post I wrote over at Tikkun! brought to mind an important element of daily prayer that can be used to enhance the potency of one's prayers:

The Kav HaYashar writes at the end of Chapter 3 that one should take pains to ensure that he sits in a specific spot in shul on a consistent basis, and that he sit next to someone who does not engage in frivolous talk during the prayers. Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein explained that one of the ideas behind a makom kavua is like the parable from the other post: when we pray at a specific place, our prayers rise up to the Gates of Prayer up above and try to enter in the same spot. The constant, repetitious barrage of daily prayers aimed at the same spot effectively "weaken" that area, which may be otherwise impenetrable.

Moreover, sitting next to someone who doesn't waste his time in shul is mutually beneficial; together you can form a unified front, and give encouragement via reinforcement by your conscious efforts to maximize your prayers.

As an addendum to his essay on bitachon and hishtadlut, Rav Dessler gives us several practical suggestions for maintaining a healthy balance between the two. Again, this text is from Michtav M'Eliyahu, Vol. 1 (Bitachon v'Hishtadlut)*:

We explained above that one can minimize endeavor only to a certain extent. The proviso is that one is strong enough to withstand the tests that may result without feeling sorry that one started on the path of faith in the first place. We should therefore look for ways to lessen the risk by strengthening our ability to meet challenges of this sort. Here are some suggestions.

1. Train yourself to be satisfied with less in the way of worldly goods. The less you need, the easier it will be for you to cut down on physical endeavor and the less dangerous will be the test. As our Sages said (Avot 6:4) "The way of Torah is to eat dry bread and salt and drink water by the measure..."   
2. Pray with devotion until you recognize that everything comes from HaShem. Then even if you don't succeed in your endeavors you will know that your lack of success, too, is decreed by Heaven. The deeper you realization of this truth, the less likely you will be to regret the course you have adopted. 
3. Reflect constantly on the importance of trust in HaShem. Read about trust in our holy sources. Even when you are engaged in necessary physical endeavor be aware that you are only fulfilling the decree "By the sweat of your brow, etc." (Gen. 3:19) Realize that what you will have is decreed and the extent of your endeavor will not alter this. All this will serve to strengthen your faith. Be prepared to close your ears to the taunts of those who call you "good for nothing" and similar epithets. Better to be called this and worse, than to abandon one's principles. Remember the words of our Sages (Eduyot 5:6): "Better I should be called a fool all my life than be a rasha before God for one hour."
4. When a person has to do something which he feels is unworthy of him he is affected by a sense of shame and is impelled to do it in private. This is an instinct implanted by HaShem, and dates from after the sin of Adam. before that the Torah says "...and they were not ashamed." (Gen 2:25) At that time physical desire was not within their experience at all. But afterwards, since it became impossible for a human being to achieve complete unselfishness, he was endowed with a sense of modesty which taught him to be ashamed of selfish physical desire. Similarly with economic endeavor, even thought the person may have no choice (after all, it was Adam's sin that brought this upon us), he should still engage in it with as much modesty as possible. He should experience a sense of shame that he has to do actions which seem to contradict the all-pervading power of HaShem. Just as modesty is effective in limiting physical desire, so it is with physical endeavor; modesty and restraint can serve to keep it within proper bounds. There is an interesting comment by the Vilna Gaon on the word "cheresh" used in connection with the sending of the two spies by Yehoshua. He writes: "This means that he sent them in silence...so that they should not fail as the earlier spies did." This provides remarkable confirmation of what we said above [in the essay].
5. "Make your Torah fixed and your work casual." (Avot 1:15). To achieve this one has to make Torah one's main ambition. One must strengthen one's determination to achieve success in Torah to such an extent that one is prepared to give up one's life for it, in accordance with the words of our Sages. When one's life-ambition is for spiritual things this will automatically lessen the urge for physical endeavor and one will also spend less time on material things generally. He will accordingly be less prone to regrets if he is not so successful in the material sphere. Regret is after all only a function of unfulfilled ambition.

 *English adapted from Strive for Truth! by Rabbi Aryeh Carmell

The Sudilkover Eitza

I found this on A Simple Jew's blog. It's worth taking the time out to read, and furthers my previous post about the value of making lists. Enjoy it - I did.

The day after our three hour conversation, I called the Sudilkover Rebbe as directed to hear his specific advice for me.

The Rebbe prefaced his advice by saying that his advice was not his advice. It came directly from Rebbe Nachman of Breslov's instruction to seek out one's good points in Likutey Moharan "Reish Peh Beis". The implementation plan that he prescribed to me, however, was his own. He told me that he wanted me to start this 40 day plan that very day and guaranteed that I would start seeing a real benefit from it within four to five days. He further stated that it was a wonderful way to develop my emuna and remarked, "I guarantee you will see miracles through doing this."

First, he told me to review Likutey Moharan #282 (Azamra) and to listen to the corresponding audio shiurim from Rabbi Nasan Maimon in order to obtain a fuller understanding of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov's teaching (I also listened to Rabbi Lazer Brody's CD as well). The Rebbe then advised me to get a notebook and draw lines down the pages and divide them into three columns. In the first column, I was to record things that I did good that day; to include even small things like washing negel vasser in the morning upon arising. In the second column, I was to record the challenges and nisyonos that I experienced that day. This was to include things such as occurrences when I failed to maintain my composure and expressed my anger. Finally, in the third column I was to record examples of Hashem's chasadim (kindnesses) that I observed that day.

The Rebbe instructed to read what I had written down out loud before I said Krias Shema al HaMita each night. After doing this for forty days I would have a clearer picture of how I should proceed. He even mentioned that he too kept such a note book from time to time and said it might be something I may find that I will want to continue past the 40 day period.

Following my hour-long conversation with the Rebbe, I went right out and bought a notebook so I could begin that day.

My yetzer hara immediately started its barrage of arguments.

"How is writing down these things in a notebook really going to help you? And you will see results in four to five days??!!"

I knew better than to listen to my yetzer hara.

My mind then recalled that the Rebbe's advice also fit into another shtickel of Degel Machaneh Ephraim that we learned together. In the Likkutim section at the end of this sefer, the Degel wrote that one time his grandfather, the Baal Shem Tov, told him that if he would say the tefillos "Keil Rachum Shemecha" and "Aneinu" as he did, that he could quite literally be able to bring Moshiach.

The Sudilkover Rebbe explained that these prayers from Selichos are located at the end of the Selichos service and are very often rushed through in an attempt to finish. The Rebbe explained that the Baal Shem Tov was teaching his grandson that one should not treat these tefillos in such a haphazard manner but rather should understand that these tefillos represented the pinnacle of the Selichos davening; that the little things that we do have the potential to accomplishment unbelievable things if only we would believe in ourselves.

Little things like walking me to our meeting were not little in the Sudilkover Rebbe's eyes. When Chabakuk Elisha came to pick me up, the Rebbe thanked him. In his modesty, Chabakuk Elisha tried to brush it aside, but the Rebbe persisted to tell him what a great thing he had done and how much nachas he had brought him by escorting me. He stressed to Chabakuk Elisha that this was not just a little thing which lacked significance. Quite the contrary.

By identifying confidence/good points as the area where I needed improvement, the Rebbe had also zeroed in on advice that I received from co-workers in a recent 360-degree assessment. While noting that I was strongest in my ability to see other viewpoints and opinions, my co-workers noted that I was not forceful or confident enough. This was not news to me. For some people arrogance is something that they have to continually work on, however, it is definitely not so in my case. My father constantly ingrained the trait of humility into me from any early age with perhaps too much zeal and not enough confidence building. If anything, I now swing too far in the opposite direction and can be too self-effacing at times.

In order to return me to a proper equilibrium to follow the middle path, the Sudilkover Rebbe's plan was a pendulum swing in the opposite direction of self-effacement. It was exactly what I needed. Amazingly, as I followed the Rebbe's instructions, I started seeing results immediately. Each night my list of good points and the list of chasadim grew longer and longer and my list of challenges/nisyonos grew shorter and shorter. The process of having to be conscious each day to write something down made me stop and think at intervals throughout the day. What am I doing good today? What am I not doing good today? What are some examples of Hashem's kindness that I am aware of at this very minute?

Twenty days after I began keeping the notebook, I noticed that what I wrote in my good points column was three or four times longer than my entry from the first day. I began to become so aware of more and more good points each day that I needed to bring my notebook along with me to work so I would not be forced to remember them all at the end of the day when I got home.

Searching out Hashem's daily chasadim, I came to have an new awareness and renewed appreciation for numerous things such as my sight, hearing, smell, taste, and digestive system. I spoke to the Sudilkover Rebbe again about my observations, and he told me that as the days go on, that I would not just be able to note a few things, but I would be able to identify literally hundreds of acts of Hashem's kindness each day.

It was not long afterwards that I was able to see kindness in circumstances that others might have labeled as tzoros. Whether it was leaky pipes, a return of mice in my house, or my oldest daughter falling down and scaping and bruising her face, the first thing I did was thank Hashem for these things; knowing that it was tremendous act of kindness since each of these events could have all been much worse. Later, I even added these events to the "chasadim" column of my notebook.

Aside from these "negative" types of chasadim, I also became even more aware of the traditional "positive" types of chasadim and soon attained the ability to stop what I was doing at any given time and name a handful of them at that very moment.

My last insight into the whole 40 day process came during the final 10 days. The Sudilkover Rebbe's advice benefitted me greatly in the area of my davening. It was only then that I was able to really tie together the notebook advice, the concept of finding one's good points, and my davening.

In Likutey Moharan #282, Rebbe Nachman taught,

"The prayer leader is called the shaliach tzibbur, the messenger of the people, and he must be sent by the all the people. His job is to find and gather all the good points in each of the worshippers."

I asked myself, "If am not the shliach tzibbur today, how can I still gather up all my good points?" I then recalled another of Rebbe Nachman's directives, "You can crease and wrinkle my book any way you like when it comes to your own interpretations – as long as you don't violate a single paragraph of the Shulchan Aruch."

A little creasing, wrinkling, and hisbodedus provided me an answer.

Remembering the connection Rebbe Nachman made between davening and the hands, I decided to modify the bed time ritual that I wrote about here. Before davening each Shachris, Mincha, and Maariv, I used my right hand and counted out five new examples of Hashem's chasadim, and then counted out five new examples of my good points using my left hand.

Reb Noson wrote in Likutey Halachos, Hilchos Haskamas Haboker 1,"Discovering one's good points is the foundation of prayer." Indeed, I found that the more I discovered more of my good points and employed this new strategy, the easier it was to daven and to shake of any lethargy that sometimes tried to convince me otherwise.

Although the 40 day period came to an end on the 12th of Teves, I have continued this practice before davening and I continually seek to find more and more good points in myself and in others. As Reb Noson said,

"Each person's life is unique, but this teaching is universal; it applies at all times in life, in youth and old age. The lesson of Azamra can revive us. Happy are those who take it to heart."

 

Holy Extremism

כשם שהפשטות והאמת הם שמות נרדפות, כן הקיצוניות והגדלות הם שמות נרדפות .הקיצוניות היא ההשתלמות של הנושא. הדוגל בהבינוניות ומואס בקיצוניות חלקו עם הזיפנים או עם חדלי תבונה

The words above are a quote from the letters of the Chazon Ish. His claim is that to be great one must be an extremist. Anything less is assuring oneself of mediocrity at best and renders such a person ..... well I'd rather not translate.

What does he mean?

Example: The Olympics. To be an Olympic athlete one must train obsessively for years. No social life, no other serious interests. One thing. TRAINING. That means getting up at three am and running 10 miles, then lifting weights followed by a healthy breakfast with lots of nutrition and less taste. No doughnuts. Why? To excel!!

In ruchniyus a person must have the same intensive focus on excellence in order to become truly great. It means sleeping less than he might want to, not eating foods he enjoys, not going places he would like to visit and denying himself what his natural instincts dictate that he desire. This single minded focus on spiritual perfection produces a tzaddik. Always careful to say the right words, act the right way and even control his thoughts ensuring that only purity and holiness enter his personal domain.

Does extremism mean throwing rocks on passing cars on Shabbos or calling anyone you disagree with a heretic? OF COURSE NOT.

Spiritual Extremism means; extremely sensitive, extremely loving, extremely caring, extremely honest, extremely generous.

I bless myself and anyone else who so desires that we become holy extremists!:)

The Loss Of Fear

About 16 years ago Rav Soloveitchik's son, known affectionately as "DR. Grach" wrote a famous article in Tradition which generated a great deal of discussion and argument. One of his many astute observations was that while today people are "frummer" than they once were [note the mass scale of Torah learning in yeshivos and kollelim, minyanim everywhere, ubiquitous payos, head covering for women, the popularity of mikva for women and men etc.], the palpable sense of FEAR of Hashem that people once had is all but lost.

It says in the Holy Books that one should cry during davening on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. I see very few tears if any during these Days of Awe. I think that people are just not afraid for their lives anymore. Things are COOL! Well, the reality is that things are NOT cool. People DO die [many many this past year, of all ages. The Angel Of Death doesn't discriminate]. So my own small blessings that we should merit to feel the awe during these Days of Awe. And if you are not afraid for your lives and well being - I am. So you can do me a favor and daven for Elchanan ben Henna Miriam and his family [keyn yirbu!] that we should make it through this coming year in good health. If you are interested you can send me your name and I will return the favor and daven for you.

The fear I am talking about is constructive. It is the impetus for a transformation of the self [known in our literature as "tshuva...].

Love and blessings and wishes for eternal good for all:)!

Increasing The Plentiful

In a previous post, both Reb Ally and Reb Micha weighed in on different kavanot (intentions) to have while making a bracha (blessing). Continuing in that theme, I'd like to share an idea I saw from Reb Chaim Volozhin (the foremost disciple of the Vilna Gaon, and a tzaddik in his own right), in his seminal work on Jewish thought Nefesh HaChaim.

In his introductory paragraphs to the section concerning the subject of Tefillah (prayer), Reb Chaim prefaces his remarks by examining the nature of blessings in general, their purpose, and their particular construction for the sake of fulfilling that purpose (emphases mine):

The word baruch does not mean "blessed" or "praised" (as an adjective), as most people think...

The true meaning of beracha is asking God to increase that which is being blessed as in "He will bless your bread and your water" (Ex. 23:25) and "He will bless the fruit of your womb" (Deut. 7:13)...These passages clearly denote increase; they certainly cannot be interpreted as expressions of praise and glorification.

But when we recite a beracha and "bless God", we are not speaking about God Himself. After all, God is perfect and lacks nothing; thus, "increasing" anything about Him is ridiculous.

The essence of God is completely beyond human comprehension. When we speak of God, we are referring to His attributes as they become apparent to us by the way He sustains and guides the world and His creations - with Justice, Kindness, or Mercy. That is why we describe Him as "Almighty Judge", "Merciful One", and "Compassionate One".

And so, the purpose of reciting a beracha is to increase our awareness of God in creation (first in our mind, and then in the minds and lives of as many people as we can reach). Therefore, when we bless God, we are really saying "Please increase Your presence in creation." (Sha'ar Beis, Chapter 2) *

Reb Chaim elaborates further on this concept and its implications throughout the section, but this integral idea jumped off the page at me. We aren't really telling God that He is praised so much as we are asking Him to strengthen the awareness of the Divine in the world. This passage caused a paradigmatic shift in my approach to berachot by teaching me to keep this thought in mind.

* English adapted from Rabbi Avrohom Yaakov Finkel's translation Nefesh Hachaim: Rav Chaim of Volozhin's classic exploration of the fundamentals of Jewish belief (the Judaic Press).

Tapping Into The Rich Emotional Reservoirs We All Have

In the previous post, Reb Ally writes about the inherent emotional capacity in everyone, and how it is only a matter of accessing those emotional wellsprings.

So how do we do it?

One exercise is to affect a certain emotional outpouring, even if it is not true or sincere; the display of emotion is a trigger that releases a larger authentic expression. For example, on Yom Kippur, we are encouraged during Ne'ila (the last part of the Yom Kippur service; we are taught that the gates of Heaven are beginning to swing shut, from the Hebrew word to close or lock) to bring ourselves to tears, by any means necessary- whether or not they are a true expression of feelings.

While tears are by nature a powerful spiritual tool - one that can be implemented despite the lack of any true feelings, and have such an effect to the degree that it can reverse even the most awesome of decrees - part of the idea behind our "forcing" ourselves to cry is the arousal that it will ultimately inspire.

More often than not, once we are crying about one thing - regardless of the source of "inspiration" - it is very easy for that episode of tears to increase and intensify to include other reasons (better reasons) to cry. M'toch sheLo Lishma, bah Lishma, as it were. That "insincere" flow of tears will inspire real tears to flow, and once we have achieved that outpouring of the soul - those tears can shatter the Heavens and break through the barriers. It is one reason why the Kav HaYashar repeatedly stresses the importance of prayer with tears; the tears wrap up even the most pathetic prayer and escorts it past the guards of the Heavenly gates directly to the Throne of Glory...

The Most Important Part of the Day

I am always looking for ways to elevate the seemingly mundane aspects of my daily interactions. I especially like it when I find short little tefillot (prayers) for activities that I do on a constant basis; it helps inject them with a certain meaning and significance, and reminds me that everything we do can be as precious to God as a korban (sacrifice; offering).

The sefer Kav HaYashar has many suggestions for ways to enhance one's mornings:

After washing one's hands in the morning and reciting the appropriate bracha (blessing) say the following prayer:

God, the God of all spirits, may it be your will, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, that the merit of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov will stand by us, saving us and our offspring from all transgressions and iniquity, that we may fill the commandments of Your holy Torah without any alien thought. And purify our hearts to serve you  in truth and innocence, Amen. (Chapter 11)

Before leaving the house in the morning, place your hand on the mezuzah and consider that the last letters in the expansion of the word yetzer (incliation) spells out the Divine name of Shad-dai (yuD, tzadI, and reiSH); that Divine name has the power to protect one from the Evil Inclination. Then say this prayer:

Master of the Universe! Please have pity upon me and spare me from the evil impulse and all it's minions, Amen. (Chapter 1)

Then, one can say the first paragraph of the Shema.

Obviously, we still have to maintain vigilance; these are not miracle cures. But they do bolster our will and remind us that we are Jews who recognize that every moment of the day is holy...