Ten Things to Remember

A great post by Yitz, of the Waxing Wellspring blog. I'm posting it here because I think it has very practical applications.

One-Minute Hitbodedut

Hisbodedus is a wonderful way of nurturing one's relationship with HaShem. While hisbodedus is probably most famously associated with Rebbe Nachman and is a major pillar of Breslov avodah (see Hishtapchut HaNefesh), hisbodedus has been around in one form or another going back at least to the Avos. Other famous non-chassidic practitioners were Reb Yisrael Salanter, the Chofetz Chaim, and more recently, Reb Shimshon Pincus.

Hisbodedus according to the Breslov method involves (ideally) secluding oneself for an hour every day, and speaking to God "as one would speak to a friend".

While doing hisbodedus for a whole hour seems daunting even to some seasoned practitioners, beginners are encouraged to begin with baby steps. Rabbi Ozer Bergman, a teacher and writer associated with the Breslov Research Institute gives a step-by-step suggestion on how to begin practicing hisbodedus in earnest, in his work Where Earth and Heaven Kiss: A Guide to Rebbe Nachman's Path of Meditation:

Set a time during the day when you know you will be alone and fully available for just one minute.

• Stop what you're doing

• Take a deep breath.

• Thank God for any two things in life - one current, the other current or past.

• Ask God for two material things - one related to today, one related to the future.

• Ask God for two spiritual things - one related to today, one related to the future.

• Ask God to help the Jewish people in two ways.

• Either:

• (a) Ask God to talk again tomorrow and say, "Thank You," or

• (b) Keep talking. When you finish, go to (a) 

Tikkun!: Both the Chassidim and the Mitnagdim are mistaken....

Tikkun!: Both the Chassidim and the Mitnagdim are mistaken....: "Both the Chassidim and the Mitnagdim are mistaken. The Mitnagdim are mistaken in that they believe that they don't need a Rebbe. The Chassid..."

אם תעירו ואם תעוררו את האהבה עד שתחפץ (שיר השירים ב:ז

 The RaMBaN (in HaEmunah v'haBitachon 19, which can be found in the Kisvei RaMBaN [thank you Reb Ally!!!]) has a wonderful interpretation of this thrice-repeated verse in Song of Songs:

When you feel an awakening of sorts, a stirring of the soul, a thought or desire to do a good deed - don't let it get away! The verse says "...ad shetechpatz" - that is, until you have taken that his'orrerus and placed it in something tangible (a chefetz in Hebrew), enclothed it in a physical deed, you run the risk of losing that feeling. The only way to capture that fleeting sense of "goodwill" is to turn it into something real.

For example, Rav Moshe Weinberger relates that when he feels an urge to do teshuva, he begins humming the liturgy from the High Holy Days in order to retain that feeling.

As a tool for shmirat einayim, I find myself quoting the verse "...and do not stray after your hearts and after your eyes" loudly with the cantillation notes (this also earns me a lot of stares, which ultimately adds to the dissuasive effect as well).

Memorizing a chapter of Tehillim can be useful for this idea, or carrying a little sefer to learn something quickly when the feeling arises...

For more on this topic, see Ohr Gedalyahu on Lech L'Cha; Hachsharas Avreichim (page 109); and Imrei Elimelech.

Belief in "Self Empowerment"

Pearls of wisdom from the Chovat HaTalmidim:

Just as it is impossible to accomplish anything without will, or to practice a discipline on a constant basis without decisiveness, it is equally impossible to ascend spiritually without having faith in oneself and in the power of one's devotions.

That is to say, we have already established the fact that doing good deeds is not sufficient in and of itself; a person must himself become good. He must take his character traits and transform them to goodness; just as Israel as a whole is engaged in a process of ascent and of growth, so must he be. But it is very difficult for a person who is in a lowly state, who feels that his personality is composed of degraded traits and that even his essence is ignoble to believe that his character will be transformed and made virtuous, and that he himself will experience spiritual ascents.

Because of this, he will be halfhearted and will not make a real effort. He will perform good deeds, but that is all. He will not try to strengthen himself in order to transform his being itself into good.

And yet, have we not said over and over again that you do not know yourself, that all you see is the outer covering - what is inside is concealed from you as well? Why doubt your own ability, thus destroying your own great future, when you do not really see and cannot really know?

Desire, decide, and believe in the power of Israel that is within you and within your devotions. Then you will see whether or not you will become holy as others have, and whether or not you too will shine like a bright star...*

There are so many valuable things to take away from this small excerpt.

First of all, the Rebbe is teaching us an important concept of avodah: there are many levels to serving God, but if one wants to truly grow, he has to internalize his dealings on a "molecular" level. When performing a mitzvah, one has to do it with the intent and the desire that it should have an impression on the very fiber of his being, refining him, altering his spiritual construction; it doesn't happen without a cognizant effort.

But most important, Reb Kalonymos Kalman once again begs us to focus on our innate qualities. This element of faith in oneself does not stem from hubris but rather from knowledge of a special power vested within us by HaShem; as a member of Knesset Yisrael we have to ability to tap into the deepest reservoirs, the richest potential that manifests itself in each Jew through his or her unique expression. It is rooted so deep that we cannot even see it without consciously focusing on that power, and striving to coax it out.

* translation adapted from A Student's Obligation by Rabbi Micha Odenheimer

My 5 second rule

Neil posted this over at his own blog, but I felt that this is a very pertinent example of tikkun hamiddos, and would be a proper entry on this blog...

My 5 second rule

The Sudilkover Eitza

I found this on A Simple Jew's blog. It's worth taking the time out to read, and furthers my previous post about the value of making lists. Enjoy it - I did.

The day after our three hour conversation, I called the Sudilkover Rebbe as directed to hear his specific advice for me.

The Rebbe prefaced his advice by saying that his advice was not his advice. It came directly from Rebbe Nachman of Breslov's instruction to seek out one's good points in Likutey Moharan "Reish Peh Beis". The implementation plan that he prescribed to me, however, was his own. He told me that he wanted me to start this 40 day plan that very day and guaranteed that I would start seeing a real benefit from it within four to five days. He further stated that it was a wonderful way to develop my emuna and remarked, "I guarantee you will see miracles through doing this."

First, he told me to review Likutey Moharan #282 (Azamra) and to listen to the corresponding audio shiurim from Rabbi Nasan Maimon in order to obtain a fuller understanding of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov's teaching (I also listened to Rabbi Lazer Brody's CD as well). The Rebbe then advised me to get a notebook and draw lines down the pages and divide them into three columns. In the first column, I was to record things that I did good that day; to include even small things like washing negel vasser in the morning upon arising. In the second column, I was to record the challenges and nisyonos that I experienced that day. This was to include things such as occurrences when I failed to maintain my composure and expressed my anger. Finally, in the third column I was to record examples of Hashem's chasadim (kindnesses) that I observed that day.

The Rebbe instructed to read what I had written down out loud before I said Krias Shema al HaMita each night. After doing this for forty days I would have a clearer picture of how I should proceed. He even mentioned that he too kept such a note book from time to time and said it might be something I may find that I will want to continue past the 40 day period.

Following my hour-long conversation with the Rebbe, I went right out and bought a notebook so I could begin that day.

My yetzer hara immediately started its barrage of arguments.

"How is writing down these things in a notebook really going to help you? And you will see results in four to five days??!!"

I knew better than to listen to my yetzer hara.

My mind then recalled that the Rebbe's advice also fit into another shtickel of Degel Machaneh Ephraim that we learned together. In the Likkutim section at the end of this sefer, the Degel wrote that one time his grandfather, the Baal Shem Tov, told him that if he would say the tefillos "Keil Rachum Shemecha" and "Aneinu" as he did, that he could quite literally be able to bring Moshiach.

The Sudilkover Rebbe explained that these prayers from Selichos are located at the end of the Selichos service and are very often rushed through in an attempt to finish. The Rebbe explained that the Baal Shem Tov was teaching his grandson that one should not treat these tefillos in such a haphazard manner but rather should understand that these tefillos represented the pinnacle of the Selichos davening; that the little things that we do have the potential to accomplishment unbelievable things if only we would believe in ourselves.

Little things like walking me to our meeting were not little in the Sudilkover Rebbe's eyes. When Chabakuk Elisha came to pick me up, the Rebbe thanked him. In his modesty, Chabakuk Elisha tried to brush it aside, but the Rebbe persisted to tell him what a great thing he had done and how much nachas he had brought him by escorting me. He stressed to Chabakuk Elisha that this was not just a little thing which lacked significance. Quite the contrary.

By identifying confidence/good points as the area where I needed improvement, the Rebbe had also zeroed in on advice that I received from co-workers in a recent 360-degree assessment. While noting that I was strongest in my ability to see other viewpoints and opinions, my co-workers noted that I was not forceful or confident enough. This was not news to me. For some people arrogance is something that they have to continually work on, however, it is definitely not so in my case. My father constantly ingrained the trait of humility into me from any early age with perhaps too much zeal and not enough confidence building. If anything, I now swing too far in the opposite direction and can be too self-effacing at times.

In order to return me to a proper equilibrium to follow the middle path, the Sudilkover Rebbe's plan was a pendulum swing in the opposite direction of self-effacement. It was exactly what I needed. Amazingly, as I followed the Rebbe's instructions, I started seeing results immediately. Each night my list of good points and the list of chasadim grew longer and longer and my list of challenges/nisyonos grew shorter and shorter. The process of having to be conscious each day to write something down made me stop and think at intervals throughout the day. What am I doing good today? What am I not doing good today? What are some examples of Hashem's kindness that I am aware of at this very minute?

Twenty days after I began keeping the notebook, I noticed that what I wrote in my good points column was three or four times longer than my entry from the first day. I began to become so aware of more and more good points each day that I needed to bring my notebook along with me to work so I would not be forced to remember them all at the end of the day when I got home.

Searching out Hashem's daily chasadim, I came to have an new awareness and renewed appreciation for numerous things such as my sight, hearing, smell, taste, and digestive system. I spoke to the Sudilkover Rebbe again about my observations, and he told me that as the days go on, that I would not just be able to note a few things, but I would be able to identify literally hundreds of acts of Hashem's kindness each day.

It was not long afterwards that I was able to see kindness in circumstances that others might have labeled as tzoros. Whether it was leaky pipes, a return of mice in my house, or my oldest daughter falling down and scaping and bruising her face, the first thing I did was thank Hashem for these things; knowing that it was tremendous act of kindness since each of these events could have all been much worse. Later, I even added these events to the "chasadim" column of my notebook.

Aside from these "negative" types of chasadim, I also became even more aware of the traditional "positive" types of chasadim and soon attained the ability to stop what I was doing at any given time and name a handful of them at that very moment.

My last insight into the whole 40 day process came during the final 10 days. The Sudilkover Rebbe's advice benefitted me greatly in the area of my davening. It was only then that I was able to really tie together the notebook advice, the concept of finding one's good points, and my davening.

In Likutey Moharan #282, Rebbe Nachman taught,

"The prayer leader is called the shaliach tzibbur, the messenger of the people, and he must be sent by the all the people. His job is to find and gather all the good points in each of the worshippers."

I asked myself, "If am not the shliach tzibbur today, how can I still gather up all my good points?" I then recalled another of Rebbe Nachman's directives, "You can crease and wrinkle my book any way you like when it comes to your own interpretations – as long as you don't violate a single paragraph of the Shulchan Aruch."

A little creasing, wrinkling, and hisbodedus provided me an answer.

Remembering the connection Rebbe Nachman made between davening and the hands, I decided to modify the bed time ritual that I wrote about here. Before davening each Shachris, Mincha, and Maariv, I used my right hand and counted out five new examples of Hashem's chasadim, and then counted out five new examples of my good points using my left hand.

Reb Noson wrote in Likutey Halachos, Hilchos Haskamas Haboker 1,"Discovering one's good points is the foundation of prayer." Indeed, I found that the more I discovered more of my good points and employed this new strategy, the easier it was to daven and to shake of any lethargy that sometimes tried to convince me otherwise.

Although the 40 day period came to an end on the 12th of Teves, I have continued this practice before davening and I continually seek to find more and more good points in myself and in others. As Reb Noson said,

"Each person's life is unique, but this teaching is universal; it applies at all times in life, in youth and old age. The lesson of Azamra can revive us. Happy are those who take it to heart."

 

I just saw something in my good friend Reb Y.'s blog (which is criminally under-posted on) that struck me as a very powerful tool for use when faced with nisyonos (emphasis mine):

If a Jew is faced with the choice to worship avodah zarah or die, even if all his senses tell him to bow down, if logic dictates that he bow down. It is his inner emunah that screams, "How can you? How can you deny Hashem's existence for even a second? How can you not give up your life for Hashem?" This voice is louder and will defy any common sense.

The Tanya goes on and brings this into the everyday life of a Jew. When faced with an inclination to do something against the will of Hashem, remind yourself of this. You would be willing to die for Hashem's will. How big is your taivah to do wrong? Can it be bigger than dying? If you're willing to die for not being separated from Hashem for even a second, you should be able to overcome any desire you have and not go against His will.

Awesome. 

Holy Extremism

כשם שהפשטות והאמת הם שמות נרדפות, כן הקיצוניות והגדלות הם שמות נרדפות .הקיצוניות היא ההשתלמות של הנושא. הדוגל בהבינוניות ומואס בקיצוניות חלקו עם הזיפנים או עם חדלי תבונה

The words above are a quote from the letters of the Chazon Ish. His claim is that to be great one must be an extremist. Anything less is assuring oneself of mediocrity at best and renders such a person ..... well I'd rather not translate.

What does he mean?

Example: The Olympics. To be an Olympic athlete one must train obsessively for years. No social life, no other serious interests. One thing. TRAINING. That means getting up at three am and running 10 miles, then lifting weights followed by a healthy breakfast with lots of nutrition and less taste. No doughnuts. Why? To excel!!

In ruchniyus a person must have the same intensive focus on excellence in order to become truly great. It means sleeping less than he might want to, not eating foods he enjoys, not going places he would like to visit and denying himself what his natural instincts dictate that he desire. This single minded focus on spiritual perfection produces a tzaddik. Always careful to say the right words, act the right way and even control his thoughts ensuring that only purity and holiness enter his personal domain.

Does extremism mean throwing rocks on passing cars on Shabbos or calling anyone you disagree with a heretic? OF COURSE NOT.

Spiritual Extremism means; extremely sensitive, extremely loving, extremely caring, extremely honest, extremely generous.

I bless myself and anyone else who so desires that we become holy extremists!:)

We know that the ideas of kol ram and peh malei have very effective results in tefilla and in learning.

Rav Yisroel Salanter used to emphasize numerous times that the only way to truly acquire yiras Shamayim, to truly inculcate it into our very beings is to learn mussar out loud, with a niggun.

In terms of realities, the fact that our bodies are completely physical and our souls are naturally spiritual, the marriage of the two is not really a natural relationship. Any additional work requires vast amounts of effort and continuous input just to keep the two realities from rejecting each other.

Music is one of the only things that can bridge that gap; on the one hand, it is physical, made from physical motions or actions, and yet it is so powerful it has the ability to penetrate to a person's very core (Rebbe Nachman has many Torahs dedicated to this concept, and warns about the spiritual ills that accompany music that wasn't created with pure intentions).

In order for mussar to really make an impact, we must learn it with a tune, a melody, more so than the singsong chant we have when we learn gemara.

The Loss Of Fear

About 16 years ago Rav Soloveitchik's son, known affectionately as "DR. Grach" wrote a famous article in Tradition which generated a great deal of discussion and argument. One of his many astute observations was that while today people are "frummer" than they once were [note the mass scale of Torah learning in yeshivos and kollelim, minyanim everywhere, ubiquitous payos, head covering for women, the popularity of mikva for women and men etc.], the palpable sense of FEAR of Hashem that people once had is all but lost.

It says in the Holy Books that one should cry during davening on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. I see very few tears if any during these Days of Awe. I think that people are just not afraid for their lives anymore. Things are COOL! Well, the reality is that things are NOT cool. People DO die [many many this past year, of all ages. The Angel Of Death doesn't discriminate]. So my own small blessings that we should merit to feel the awe during these Days of Awe. And if you are not afraid for your lives and well being - I am. So you can do me a favor and daven for Elchanan ben Henna Miriam and his family [keyn yirbu!] that we should make it through this coming year in good health. If you are interested you can send me your name and I will return the favor and daven for you.

The fear I am talking about is constructive. It is the impetus for a transformation of the self [known in our literature as "tshuva...].

Love and blessings and wishes for eternal good for all:)!

Increasing The Plentiful

In a previous post, both Reb Ally and Reb Micha weighed in on different kavanot (intentions) to have while making a bracha (blessing). Continuing in that theme, I'd like to share an idea I saw from Reb Chaim Volozhin (the foremost disciple of the Vilna Gaon, and a tzaddik in his own right), in his seminal work on Jewish thought Nefesh HaChaim.

In his introductory paragraphs to the section concerning the subject of Tefillah (prayer), Reb Chaim prefaces his remarks by examining the nature of blessings in general, their purpose, and their particular construction for the sake of fulfilling that purpose (emphases mine):

The word baruch does not mean "blessed" or "praised" (as an adjective), as most people think...

The true meaning of beracha is asking God to increase that which is being blessed as in "He will bless your bread and your water" (Ex. 23:25) and "He will bless the fruit of your womb" (Deut. 7:13)...These passages clearly denote increase; they certainly cannot be interpreted as expressions of praise and glorification.

But when we recite a beracha and "bless God", we are not speaking about God Himself. After all, God is perfect and lacks nothing; thus, "increasing" anything about Him is ridiculous.

The essence of God is completely beyond human comprehension. When we speak of God, we are referring to His attributes as they become apparent to us by the way He sustains and guides the world and His creations - with Justice, Kindness, or Mercy. That is why we describe Him as "Almighty Judge", "Merciful One", and "Compassionate One".

And so, the purpose of reciting a beracha is to increase our awareness of God in creation (first in our mind, and then in the minds and lives of as many people as we can reach). Therefore, when we bless God, we are really saying "Please increase Your presence in creation." (Sha'ar Beis, Chapter 2) *

Reb Chaim elaborates further on this concept and its implications throughout the section, but this integral idea jumped off the page at me. We aren't really telling God that He is praised so much as we are asking Him to strengthen the awareness of the Divine in the world. This passage caused a paradigmatic shift in my approach to berachot by teaching me to keep this thought in mind.

* English adapted from Rabbi Avrohom Yaakov Finkel's translation Nefesh Hachaim: Rav Chaim of Volozhin's classic exploration of the fundamentals of Jewish belief (the Judaic Press).

Tapping Into The Rich Emotional Reservoirs We All Have

In the previous post, Reb Ally writes about the inherent emotional capacity in everyone, and how it is only a matter of accessing those emotional wellsprings.

So how do we do it?

One exercise is to affect a certain emotional outpouring, even if it is not true or sincere; the display of emotion is a trigger that releases a larger authentic expression. For example, on Yom Kippur, we are encouraged during Ne'ila (the last part of the Yom Kippur service; we are taught that the gates of Heaven are beginning to swing shut, from the Hebrew word to close or lock) to bring ourselves to tears, by any means necessary- whether or not they are a true expression of feelings.

While tears are by nature a powerful spiritual tool - one that can be implemented despite the lack of any true feelings, and have such an effect to the degree that it can reverse even the most awesome of decrees - part of the idea behind our "forcing" ourselves to cry is the arousal that it will ultimately inspire.

More often than not, once we are crying about one thing - regardless of the source of "inspiration" - it is very easy for that episode of tears to increase and intensify to include other reasons (better reasons) to cry. M'toch sheLo Lishma, bah Lishma, as it were. That "insincere" flow of tears will inspire real tears to flow, and once we have achieved that outpouring of the soul - those tears can shatter the Heavens and break through the barriers. It is one reason why the Kav HaYashar repeatedly stresses the importance of prayer with tears; the tears wrap up even the most pathetic prayer and escorts it past the guards of the Heavenly gates directly to the Throne of Glory...

See The Wonder...

Want to strengthen your Emunah (belief in God)?

Rabbeinu Bachya Ibn Paquda prescribes a systematic way to increase one's recognition of the Divine in his daily life by examining and reflecting on the nature of things. The second "gate" in his Chovot HaLevavot (Duties of the Heart) is devoted entirely to illustrating how we can see the wisdom and kindness with which HaShem created the world and runs it perpetually.

Split into six sections, the Sha'ar HaBechina (the Gate of Reflection) explains:

• The nature of reflection 
• The obligation of reflection  
• How to reflect on Creation 
• The various different forms and manifestations of wisdom in the physical realm available to reflect upon 
• Which manifestations are most appropriate and accessible for us to examine, vis-a-vis our correspondent obligation to reflect on said manifestations; 
• What deters/enables reflection.

The fifth section shows how the most pertinent and effective source to examine is our own body; our physiology from conception until death, our intellectual and sensual faculties, the faculty of speech specifically, etc. Continuing on, we expand our scope to take in the wonders of the animal kingdom, and then the celestial properties - the stars, the moon, and so on. Physics, the laws of motion, the yield of an apple seed and the quenching nature of rainfall are but a few other examples that Rebbeinu Bachya focuses on extensively.

There is no shortage of apparent examples that can serve to increase our emunah and gratitude to God, if we would only take the time to really look at them and see the inherent divinity in all things.

I once heard a suggestion that that we should all attempt to learn something new about Creation every day, and really devote some time (even if only a few minutes) to reflect upon its significance. Making this a practice every day nurtures a sensitivity, an openness to the world around us.

I personally find that science books geared towards younger audiences are often great sources for such information; they are infused with a wide-eyed sense of awe and wonder this beautiful world that God has placed us in for the duration...

The Paradox Of The Perspective On Death

Recently I unfortunately have had a number of occasions to be involved in the sugya of "death". What is the Jewish approach?

I came across an excellent article in Hadarom [65, by Rav Betzalel Naor Shlita, great Talmid Chochom and father in law of my dear beloved friend Dori Binyamin Ben Yeruba'al Tzvi]: The Rambam says in the thirteenth perek of hilchos avel that one who mourns too much is a fool. Death is part of life [minhago shel olam]. Rather he should mourn as the halacha dictates and then get on with it. Then the Rambam turns around and says that if someone dies it behooves all those around him to search their deeds and do teshuva and if they don't they are cruel because a lack of introspection will just make more terrible things happen.

But wait! T.O. coach!! You just told me that it is minhago shel olam? Nothing out of the ordinary? So why the need to press the internal search button [computer mashal!:)]?

We are multi-dimensional people and we must also look at the world in multi-dimensional ways. We must realize that it is the nature of the world that people die and not allow ourselves to become overwhelmed. But we must ALSO understand that there is something tragic and earthshaking in the death of a human being and quickly do some teshuva so that it doesn't happen so frequently and that when it does, our neshamos will be ready. With enough teshuva, death indeed will one day be eradicated from the earth. [See the whole article.]

Rav Yisroel Salanter says that many people are under the impression that there is a chevre geshtorbenners [a society of people who die], but we are not members of this exclusive group.

Ahhhh sweetest tyere fryndlech, we are ALL members of this group. This means that we must live today as if it our last and remove ourselves from all the nonsense of this world and focus on what is real. As the Rebbe says in the B'nei Machshava Tova הרחק את עצמך מן הבטלה הרחק כמטחוי קשת
Stay miles away from wasting time. There are SOOOOO many good productive things to do.

Let's do them!

Love and blessings!:)

PS - a BIG yashar koach to Reb Shmulie on the "Machshava Tova" of starting this blog. It is nice when Jews have a chaburah whose express purpose is enhancing their Avodas Hashem. The Rebbe created such group in his lifetime and it is a great elevation for his soul that we continue. I have my own blog but I feel that the message is strengthened when we have the koach hatzibbur of the other distinguished members of the chaburah. Tzibbur is an acronym for tzaddikim, benoyniyim and reshoim. In the meantime all I see [besides myself] are tzaddikim....

A Delicious Bracha

You are about to eat something. WAIT!!!

Close your eyes. Think "I am about to do the mitzva of blessing Hashem".

Then say very deliberately "Baruch" - You are the source of ALL blessing!

"Atah" - I am speaking directly to the Master of All Being!:)

"Hashem" - He was, is and will be, the eternal source of mercy and love.

"Elokeinu Melech Ha'olam" - You RUN THE SHOW. The King. Not a flesh and blood king with countless human foibles but PERFECTION.

"Borei Mi'nei Mezonos" - You create cookies, cakes, crackers, pretzels. You are the BEST!!

I LOVE YOU HASHEM!!

Now eat the food. It will taste better than it would have had you not made the bracha because you APPRECIATE it.

But the bracha will be yet tastier.

Do this a hundred times a day - and you will NEVER be the same.

[Based on the Rebbe in BMT and the Alei Shor]